Love & Fear

Screwing up my own life and those around me? The only person I have around me is Liam and I don’t think I am screwing up his life. Believe me, I am trying my hardest not to screw up my life, ive always worked hard for everything I have/get.

I was told at the beginning of the year centerlink would help me through uni if i waited out 6 extra months. So i moved to Melbourne and started my course because id waited long enough to start and now 6 months in they are telling me I cant get any help at all even though I earned well over what I needed to get my independence. I made alot of mistakes over the last 2 years which have fucked up my move into university financially. For the past 2 or so weeks I have been in the process of dropping out, despite how well I had been going. Yesterday (2 days before I have major assignments due) I was told that if I drop out now I have permanent fails on the 4 units I am studying. My stupid fucking housemate didn’t pay our internet so it has been cut off for 8 days and I cant complete them at home and because of my lack of money I can’t afford to miss work to get them done.
On top of this Liam and I had our new place basically sorted and then the guy who is currently living there fucked us over. He hasn’t paid the rent in 3 weeks so they gave him 2 weeks to leave and then the place would go back on the market so anyone to apply. I had already told my current housemates that we were leaving so they found someone else to move in. I now have 2 weeks to find a place to live with no rent history or we basically dont have a house.
Then, Liam and I had a stupid fucking fight last week that I wont go into detail about but its something I just cant get out of my head and I keep on worrying about.
Just to really make things better I feel like im putting on weight and its making my self esteem drop lower that it already fucking was.
Aside from all that I am fantastic.